My Birthday Retreat: The Reset I Didn’t Know I Needed—Until I Did

My Annual Birthday Retreat: Reflect, Reset, and Reconnect

Last year, I started a new tradition — one that’s quickly become my favorite: taking the reins for my own birthday and planning a solo retreat.

For me, birthdays have always felt like a personal “new year.” Each one naturally prompts me to look back — not just at what I’ve accomplished, but at who I’ve become from one age to the next. I’ve never been big on January resolutions; that time is reserved for our annual marriage retreat and family planning for the year ahead (you can read more about that here).

But my birthday? That’s for me — a time to pause, reflect, and realign.

Why I Take a Birthday Retreat

The past two years, I’ve kept things simple with a local staycation. It’s just easier to balance — my husband can still work, our son can stay in his normal school routine, and I can fully unplug without adding travel stress.

Last year was a one-night stay; this year, I gave myself two.

And while I could absolutely see a destination trip in the future, for now, this rhythm works beautifully.

The goal of my birthday retreat is simple: to reset, reflect, pray, and vision cast.

(Still working on a good acronym for that one — open to suggestions!)

Reset: Rest and Reconnect

Resetting means slowing down enough to remember who I am outside of all the roles I play.

This year’s reset included:

• Multiple workouts (because movement helps me think)
• Hours of writing by the pool
• Good food and mindful eating
• Early nights and real sleep

I stopped by one of my favorite coffee shops, lived off Cava and Crisp & Green grain bowls (again), and treated myself to sushi for my birthday dinner — a restaurant that’s definitely not kid-friendly, so this was my night.

I didn’t miss church, barely touched my phone, and only talked to my guys to say goodnight. It was the best version of unplugging I could come up with — and it worked.

Reflect & Pray: Finding Gratitude and Grace

Reflection and prayer always take me on a wild ride of gratitude, conviction, and encouragement.

Every year, I’m reminded of how much God has moved — in ways I couldn’t have orchestrated myself — and how much more there still is to do together.

I spent hours journaling, praying, and praising. I let silence be my company. And as uncomfortable as it can feel, it gave me the margin to just be — to let my thoughts settle, to listen, and to get curious again.

Reflection always reveals two things for me:

1. The growth that came from the hardest parts.
2. The grace that carried me when I didn’t see it.

Vision Casting: Seeing the Next Season

Last year, vision casting was hard. I was still grieving the loss of my mom (August 2024), and it was difficult to think too far ahead. My retreat that year became more about healing than planning. That’s also why I extended it this year — I wanted space for whatever emotions came up and the freedom to dream again.

This time, I came prepared.

I brought:

• Two 3x4 fabric boards
• Two “vision board idea” books filled with photos and inspiration
• A handful of faith-based stickers from a local bookstore
• My current and past journals
• A new planner that helped me break down 1–20 year goals into quarterly steps

And because I never know where inspiration will take me, I also packed my content planner, sketch pad, laptop, books, pens, and highlighters.

At 7:30 that night, after dinner, I spread everything out across the bed: my vision board supplies, journals, and planner. I started cutting out anything that sparked inspiration and categorizing it. Then, I began jotting down goals — short-term and long-term — and asking myself, Who do I need to become to make these happen?

Before I knew it, it was 2:30 a.m., and I felt both exhausted and full — satisfied with what I’d created and the clarity it gave me.

The next morning, during my quiet time, I looked at the board and could see the life I was praying for. There’s something powerful about being able to visually witness the person you’re becoming — and the life you’re building.

Each Year Looks Different

Last year, I felt a weight lift the moment I got in the car to leave. I had been carrying so much — emotions, responsibilities, and invisible pressure — and for the first time in a long time, I felt release.

This year was different. The relief was replaced by clarity.

I wasn’t running from anything; I was running toward something.

I felt grounded, motivated, and free to let things unfold naturally.

It’s funny — each year has its own theme, its own rhythm. I can’t help but wonder what next year will hold.

Why I Celebrate Myself

These retreats started as a way to take the expectations off others — no waiting to see how my birthday would be celebrated, no disappointment if it wasn’t.

It’s not about isolation; it’s about intention.

I wanted to celebrate myself on purpose.

I’ve always made birthdays a big deal for my son — because his life is worth celebrating. So why wouldn’t I show him that mine is, too?

Our lives are a gift. I want him to see that celebrating your own existence isn’t selfish — it’s gratitude in action.

I’m glad he’s here.

And I’m glad I am, too. 💛 Here’s to 36!! 🥂